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Beliefs (Upon Contact)
I will stay calm and collected but just for a moment
I have forsaken my motions and now feel broken
caught in a radical state feeling progressive in a way
but emptied of all structure I feel like my life has been stripped away
sometimes when I close my eyes I see myself as an empty cathedral and I cant help but yeild those
those lackluster vehicles tiny engines that encourage my deepening state of confusion
without her to hold I feel like I can't keep control over my original visions
I've seen the cinematic adaptation of broken relations
but first hand experiences the only way to understand the emotions that come with it
those moment of wishing things were different
cliche it may seem but I feel like it needs to be evaluated
those forgotten messages I whispered under my breathe
everytime I thought about the future I wanted to possess
then those dark reminiscent nights lost in thought when questions not answers is all i got
was it something I said?
if not I promise it will be because I'm not givin up yet
I try not to speak from the heart but from my head
but todays an exception and my words were reflected
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my lungs hurt from inhaling the past
I feel like a ship with a broken mast following a north star, a course far, a horse par
that never wanted to meet a path I never wanted to seek
desiring to be free
desiring to forget the memories floating off behind me
but still somehow hoping this is all a terrible dream and things will go back to how I thought they were meant to be
I'm a monster to my own philosophies basing my happiness off of anything I can grasp that wont kill me
just so I can feel something
just so this pain can mean something maybe not to me at least to somebody
and when I leave this present darkness and harness enough self respect to move out
out of the stickening wall between acceptance and reluctant help
so please remove this fleeting need to feel her touch against my flesh
and replenish that ambition I once had to seek authentic love again
because as long as we keep dreaming our hearts continue beating and love will find us
even if we're sleeping
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