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Newton Faulkner



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Singer Intro

Newton Faulkner

UFO / Full Fat (Live in London)

It was late one night a little while ago,
I'd had nothing to drink I don't think.
Ok, well maybe a glass of wine,
but nothing that would loosen my mind to the point of seeing what I'm seeing
in the sky, woah - an alien being!
My mind can't make sense of what I'm seeing.
It's beginning to take control,
so I better watch out for the anal probe.
We got a UFO.
Hello.
UFO.
Hello.
UFO.
Hello.
UFO.
Hello, hey.
They come in peace,
we stay in war.
We like to get drunk and fight each other in bars,
and all I'm trying to say,
is if you were to look
from the outside looking in:
where would you begin?
UFO.
Mmm, hello.
UFO.
Mmm, hello.
UFO.
Mmm, hello.
UFO.
Mmm, hello, hey.
And I - when I look into the sky and I see a strange light,
everything is alright, everything is alright.
And I - when I look into the sky and I see a strange light,
everything is alright, everything is alright.
UFO, if you wanna take the time to say hello
I've been waiting in a field to say, UFO
If you wanna take the time to say hello
I've been waiting in line.
UFO, if you wanna take the time to say hello
I've been waiting in a field to say, UFO
If you wanna take the time to say hello
I've been waiting in line.
UFO, if you wanna take the time to say hello
I've been waiting in a field to say, UFO
If you wanna take the time to say hello
I've been waiting in line.
UFO, if you wanna take the time to say hello
I've been waiting in a field to say, UFO
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If you wanna take the time to say hello

I just wanna say hi.

(DIALOGUE:)
That song is slightly stupid.
It has got anal probes in it, which isn't particularly...
It's not normal.
'Gone in the Morning' is also pretty stupid - that has got tiny zoos and stuff.
And giant afros, it's got everything, everything you could ever want in a song.
Do you wanna hear the stupidest song I have ever written, without any shadow of a doubt?
This is really stupid - this crosses - this is intense.
I don- I haven't played 'Full Fat' in ages.
Do you want me to have a go?

I could have a go.
I'll just do a verse and a because I definitely can't remember the second verse but it had the -

(FULL FAT:)
It's hard to see the light when the fridge door is closed.
Tiptoe down the hall, open the door and find out that God is a small sausage roll.
I fall and I crawl and I break and I'm dreaming of Avril Lavigne, oh.
Devil eyes, short skirt and thighs and I'm on my knees again.
Santa Claus is green, he's not caffeine free,
I want full fat, fill that limousine.
I've got no cash card, no car, no money,
and adverts don't tell me what I need.

He's green, he's not caffeine free.

I want full fat, fill that limousine.
I've got no cash card, no car, no money.
Yeah.

(DIALOGUE:)
That's all I can remember... But it's - it's fun.
But how do you know it?
no thought into it at all kind of song.
Obviously it's on an EP, but no -
do people buy EPs?
EPs are, are in at the moment.
You guys, so have you guys got the 'Full Fat' EP, have you got the UFO EP aswell?
You have?
Woah I underestimated you guys.
Umm... Serious or stupid?
Hands up for serious... Wow that's - that's no one.
Hands up for stupid... Well that just sums this gig up.