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Adam Kay
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Northern Birds
This is a national service announcement for all men If you go to Bolton If you go to Manchester Or crewe Newcastle, or Scarborough York, or Scunthorp, Bradford, Barnsley too Or Grimsby Listen up to what we have to say
Northern birds are lazy ugly whores who smell of burgers So don't have too much to drink Or you might fuck one And end up getting aids
There's nothing fun To be found off the M1 Northern birds are lower class Slags who take it up the arse
They're in the sack After one cider and black But they're fucking awful rides and your dick won't touch the sides Da-da-da-da-da-da Da-da-da-da
Northern Birds
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If you really have to Go up north then follow our advice Fight away the women Or you'll find yourself with Pubic lice And herpes Your much better staying in the South Northern Birds Are desperate ugly hippos dressed in Burberry With a peanut for a brain And an accent that makes you want to die
Now you've been warned They're all physically deformed Northern birds Are all obese And they're riddled with disease
Try to escape Northern sex is worse than rape Stay down south and mark my words Stear well clear of northern birds
Northern birds
Northern birds
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