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Robert Lund



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Robert Lund

Life In The Bat Cave

He was a tall, moody man, and a billionaire orphan
He looked a bit like George Clooney
His partner was young, with excessive endorphins
And certifiably looney
They had awesome abs and triceps, and their hair smelled great
They said 'it's platonic,' they said they were straight
They had one thing in common, they looked good in tights
They wore lycra and latex on those crazy Gotham nights
And it was Life in the Bat Cave
Surely they could use some blinds
Life in the Bat Cave, uh-huh
'For today's traing, Dick, I want you to practice sliding down the Bat-Pole.
Be sure to grip it with both hands.'
Holy Bat Guano! Holy Bat-Bong!
Alyssa Milano is not in this song
They had all the right gadgets, and their crib was unreal
With the Alfred-est butler, and the Bat-est mobile
They had bats in the belfty, bat-poop insane
Was the whole city clueless? Dude was clearly Bruce Wayne
Out every evening, finding hotties to save
So who pimped the grotto? Extreme Makeover Cave Edition,
Life in the Bat Cave
Call me on the fruit bat line
Life in the Bat Cave, uh-huh
Life in the Bat Cave
Wear a cape all the time
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Life in the Bat Cave, uh-huh
'Holy Soiled Synthetics, Batman!
Can I borrow a Bat-Wipe?'
Jokers and Riddlers, and Penguins and worse
Meant less time for drag racing with the Ghostbusters hearse
Bruce said 'Listen, Robin, why are crooks all costumed freaks?
All our wacky nemesis-es must have been drama geeks.'
Dick said 'Call the doctor, last week when I got smashed
I must've messed with Poison Ivy, 'cause now I've got this rash.'
They were the gothest goths in Gotham, livin' out the bat dream
Though people yelled out, 'You BAT... for the other team!'
And it was Life in the Bat Cave
Ain't that Christian Bale just fine?
Life in the Bat Cave, uh-huh
Life in the Bat Cave
Kickin' bats, takin' names
Life in the Bat Cave, uh-huh
Oh, gee, sorry I missed your BAT mitzvah
I was in BATon Rouge
With an acroBAT
On sabBATical
Playing Mortal KomBAT
…Hey, look, it's Casey at the BAT