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Offbeat

90s Kid

Yo, I'm tired of all these Noughties Kids man…
Claiming to be 90s Kids
Like just coz you were born in the 90s, doesn't make you a 90s Kid
I'm a 90s Kid. I know what it was like.
You weren't there man… YOU WEREN'T THERE!
Born in the 80s but raised in the 90s, in front of the TV's theplace you would find me
On Saturday mornings channel flicking, between SMTV and Live and Kicking
Back when you used to have to wait for a show, before the advent of Netflix and YouTube
I know every generation says the same thing – but they don't make 'em like they used to!
I grew up watching Saved by the Bell, before the cast all had raging hormones
Before Jessie went on to make Showgirls, and before Screech starred in a porno
I was watching Boy Meets World, Mr Cooper and Sister Sister
And if I remember correctly, the Teenage Mutant Turtles were 'Heroes' not 'Ninjas'
I feel sorry for the kids today, coz they don't know the meaning of real animation
And even though Ghostbusters and Thundercats got remade, they're just cheap imitations
Whatever happened to the real cartoons, like Ren and Stimpy and Captain Planet?
The Rescue Rangers and Burt Racoon, and dun-dun-dun-dun Inspector Gadget?
Even presenters and mascots were better, gimme Andy Peters or Mr Blobby…
But I'm sorry when it comes to Jimmy Saville, even back then I could tell he was dodgy!
Sometimes I just wanna go back to the days when Will lived with Carlton and Phil Banks
Before Maggie shot Mr Burns, when Maude was alive and Smithers was still black

This ones for all of my 90s kids, all my 90s guys and 90s chicks
Who rocked 90s clothes and 90s kicks, watched 90s TV and 90s flicks
This ones for all of my 90s kids, who liked 90s music and 90s hits
And if you weren't born before '96, you don't know what the 1990s is
This ones for all of my 90s kids, all my 90s guys and 90s chicks
Who rocked 90s clothes and 90s kicks, watched 90s TV and 90s flicks
This ones for all of my 90s kids, who liked 90s music and 90s hits
And if you weren't born before '96, you don't know what the 1990s is
I'm not a 90s baby or a 90s man, I'm a 90s kid who likes 90s jams
Before you could download tunes to your hard drive, when you had to buy 'em from Woolworths or Our Price
I was alive in the Golden Era of hip hop but was too young for it at the time
I'd love to say I was a fan of Biggie and 2pac, but I wasn't till after they died
Coz I was too young to listen to Snoop Dogg, Dr Dre and the Wu Tang Clan
But I was a fan of the Outhere Brothers, Babylon Zoo and that tune Scat Man
I remember in the school discos where Snow Informer was always spinning
Way before we knew what it meant, when we thought 'Licky boom boom down' meant rimming
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I never drank Alize, had Versace shades or wore Moschino
But you might have seen me with a Panda Pop, in my Naff Co jacket and Spliffy jeans though
I didn't know about ecstasy, I thought Mitsubishis were a type of car first
Coz the only sweets I was eating, were Opal Fruits before they were Starburst
This ones for all of my 90s kids, all my 90s guys and 90s chicks
Who rocked 90s clothes and 90s kicks, watched 90s TV and 90s flicks
This ones for all of my 90s kids, who liked 90s music and 90s hits
And if you weren't born before '96, you don't know what the 1990s is
This ones for all of my 90s kids, all my 90s guys and 90s chicks
Who rocked 90s clothes and 90s kicks, watched 90s TV and 90s flicks
This ones for all of my 90s kids, who liked 90s music and 90s hits
And if you weren't born before '96, you don't know what the 1990s is
I was a 90s kid and a 90s gamer, back when it was still Nintendo or Sega
Way before Playstation and X-Box, when your only choice was a plumber or a hedgehog
Back then if you were stuck on a part that you could't get past and you needed an answer
You couldn't just go online you had to go and ask Patrick Moore on Gamesmaster
Back when toys were meant to be played with, not Ebayed or stored in a basement
Pogs, Boglins, Mighty Max and Monster in my Pocket were just some of my favourites
Ring Raiders and Micro Machines, these were the toys of my generation
And this is also when WWF still stood for World Wrestling Federation
So don't claim you're a 90's kid, if all you are is a 90's baby
Coz to be a real 90's kid, you need to have be born in the 1980's
But pretty soon the tables will turn and before you know it I'll be in my forties

And it'll be your turn to write a song, about what it was like growing up in the Noughties

… But 'til then…
This ones for all of my 90s kids, all my 90s guys and 90s chicks
Who rocked 90s clothes and 90s kicks, watched 90s TV and 90s flicks
This ones for all of my 90s kids, who liked 90s music and 90s hits
And if you weren't born before '96, you don't know what the 1990s is
Yeah! All my real 90s Kids, this one's for you!
But to all my non-90s Kids, please don't take offence
I'm just playing around
And to tell you the truth
I'm just jealous how young you lot are.