Caffeinated Concert Tickets / Death Punchies Lyrics Regular Show ※
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Caffeinated Concert Tickets / Death Punchies

Rigby:Yes! Fist Pump!
(Mordecai and Rigby do fist pumps)
Mordecai and Rigby:Heh heh heh heh. Yeah, yeah! (Continue fist pumping until the music ends). Heh heh heh heh heh!
Announcer:(Spoken very fast) Listen up, pump heads, Fist Pump is coming to Slammers! They just got out of jail, and rehab, and now they're back, and ready to rock your 11-through-15 year old pants off! That's our demographic:get over it! That's right! Fist Pump live!
Other Announcer:Live!
Announcer: At Slammers this Friday!
Other Announcer: Friday!
Announcer: Be there or be a loser!
Mordecai: Ha ha ha, there's gonna be so many losers at that concert.
Rigby: We have to go to that concert.
Mordecai: Seriously? Dude, they were cool in the 3rd grade. But now-
Rigby: Correction, they're cool in any grade, but you wouldn't know that. Probably because you hate yourself or something.
Mordecai: Dude, we don't have the money for those tickets.
Rigby: Doesn't even matter! We can figure out a way, but you're too busy figuring out a way to hate yourself.
Mordecai: Why do you wanna go so bad?
Rigby: Going to this concert could be the biggest moment of my life.
Mordecai: Wow, sounds like your life sucks.
Rigby: SHUT UP!
Mordecai: Heh heh heh heh.
Margaret: Hey, guys!
Mordecai: Hey, Margaret.
Margaret: Were you guys talking about the concert?
Rigby: We were talking about a concert. Is the concert you're talking about Fist Pump?
Margaret: Ha ha, yeah, cool.
Mordecai: Wait, you're going?
Margaret: Yeah I am. I know they're kinda old but I remember them from when I was a kid. Besides, everyone is gonna be there. It's gonna be fun. You guys gonna go?
Mordecai: I'm totally gonna go.
Mordecai: We'll be there!
Margaret: Cool... see you guys there. (she walks away)
Mordecai: Yeah... see ya.
Rigby: I can't believe you're going to a Fist Pump concert just for some lady pecs!
Mordecai: Rigby, one day you'll be old enough to understand the real reason that people go to concerts.
Mordecai: Dude, it's gonna be easy. We just have to work some extra hours.
Rigby: Extra work? I don't even like regular work.
Mordecai: Do you like Fist Pump?
Rigby: Yes.
Mordecai: Hmm, then you like extra work.
Rigby: Hmm, fine.
Mordecai: Hmm! Hmm!
Rigby: Hmm! Hmm!
Mordecai and Rigby: Hmm! Hmm!
(Scene cuts to Skip's house)
Benson: Let me get this straight. You and Rigby want me to give you overtime, and even though you can't even finish the regular amount of work that you normally have, you want me to add on even more.
Mordecai: Yes.
Benson: Ah ha ha!-- no.
Rigby: Ah, come on Benson, please. Fist Pump is playing at Slammers and we don't have enough money for tickets.
Benson: Ha ha, are you serious? Fist Pump? You know what kind of people go to those concerts?
(Muscle Man stand on the cart while Hi Five Ghost drives it)
Muscle Man: Whoo! That's right ladies, we got two tickets to Fist Pump. See ya later, grandmas!
Rigby: (grunts aggressively) Benson, you listen and you listen good. (Drops to the ground and pleads) Please Benson, please give us overtime! Please?
Benson: What is the big deal? It's just some talentless band.
Skips: Actually they aren't that bad - not that I'm into that stuff. We are pretty backed up though. I think you should give them the work.
Pops: Oh, I agree. I say if they want to see 'Pump Fist', then let them see 'Pump Fist'.
Benson: (sighs) Fine. You can work overtime.
Mordecai and Rigby: Ohhhhh!!!
Benson: Here's a list of things we need done, when you finish them, you'll get your money.
Mordecai and Rigby: Ohhhhh!!! (They leave)
Benson: (sighs) Idiots.
(A montage scene follows in which Mordecai and Rigby power through several chores at regular speed)
Rigby: Dude, I'm fading fast.
Mordecai: Don't worry dude. We just got to fight it with coffee.
(They take a sip of coffee, and the montage scene resumes with faster music. The duo are back at work at ultra-high speed. Benson is pleasantly surprised at how sparkling the house is and hands over the overtime pay to Mordecai and Rigby. They vacuum it up before tearing open the vacuum bags to get the money back)
(The scene shifts to outside the Slammers club's box office)
Mordecai: Two for Fist Pump.
Guy in ticket stand: $400
Mordecai and Rigby: What?!
Mordecai: But I thought they were 50!
Guy in ticket stand: $50 tickets are sold out. All that's left are Super Deluxe front row seats.
Mordecai: Aw man!
Rigby: No, no, no! Mordecai, wait, wait man, we can't give up. Fist Pump!
Mordecai: I know dude, but I just don't want to work anymor--. Oh my.
(Mordecai drools as he sees Margaret in her skimpy Fist Pump top. She waves as he stands in stunned amazement)
Mordecai: Maybe I could work a little more. All right dude, let's do this.
(Rigby is down on the ground sleeping)
Mordecai: You're lucky I care about lady pecs.
(The scene cuts back to outside Skips' house)
Mordecai: Benson, we need more money.
Rigby: (Takes a sip of coffee) Yeah, give us more money.
Benson: There's no more chores left. Unless... you want to mow the lawn.
Mordecai and Rigby: The lawn?!
(We take a bird's eye view of the huge lawn)
Mordecai: Aw, what? That'll take forever.
Benson: Here's the keys. You know where the mower is. (He throws the keys to the duo. They hit Rigby on the face and he moans in pain.) Good luck. (Benson drives away on the golf cart)
Mordecai: Hmm, hmm. Who needs luck when we have coffee?
Mordecai and Rigby: (weakly) Ohhhhhh...
Rigby: Dude, seriously though, my eyes won't stay open anymore, and I think we're almost out of coffee.
Mordecai: Nonsense dude, we got plenty of coffee. (Tries to take a sip from the coffee pot, but there is no more coffee, and he lays on the ground)
Rigby: Mordecai, what happened?
Mordecai: (weakly) Need more coffee. Need more Margaret.
Rigby: (weakly) Fist Pump...
Giant Coffee Bean: Coffee, coffee!
(A giant coffee bean clad in underpants and a headband appears on screen, along with a Japanese man in a business suit. It transpires that he is translating for the coffee bean)
GCB: Coffee?
Interpreter: Greetings, fellow Fist Pump fans! May we help you get some tickets?
Mordecai: What? Who are you?
Giant Coffee Bean: Coffee, coffee.
Interpreter: As you can see, I am a giant coffee bean. I can bring you caffeine. Do you accept?
Mordecai: Wait, what?
Giant Coffee Bean: Coffee coffee, coffee coffee coffee, coffee coffee, coffee coffee coffee.
(Giant Coffee Bean holds out a contract that only has the word 'coffee' on it several times)
Rigby: Ah, cool, a contract, let's sign it!
(Rigby signs the contract. The Giant Coffee Bean takes it back, presses it to his stomach area, and absorbs it. He then grabs his nipples, screams, and shoots coffee into the mouths of Mordecai and Rigby)
(A montage plays in which Mordecai and Rigby pump their fists and drive the lawnmower, with the aid of the Giant Coffee Bean's regular infusions of more coffee. Working for the Weekend by Loverboy plays in the background. The montage ends as Mordecai and Rigby walk into their bedroom and shut the door, new tickets in hand)
Mordecai and Rigby: Yeah, yeah! Yeah yeah yeah! Yeah, yeah, yeah! Yeah!
Mordecai: Aw, man, I didn't know deluxe tickets were coated in diamonds.
Rigby: So cool.
Interpreter: Where are the other two tickets?
(The Giant Coffee Bean and his interpreter are already in the room)
Rigby: (shocked) Aw jeez!
(Rigby puts on his Fist Pump t-shirt)
Rigby: There's no 'other tickets', man. We only had enough for two.
Interpreter: But we had a contract!
Rigby: (screams) Woooooo!!! Fist pump!
Mordecai: (normal voice) Woo Fist Pump.
Giant Coffee Bean: (angrily) Coffee coffee coffee!
(Rigby shows Mordecai a toy gun with a pumping fist on the end of it)
Rigby: Dude, check it. Bang bang! Dude, I've got two if you want to take one to the concert.
Interpreter: Mordecai and Rigby, we are very excited for you to be the ones to see Fist Pump. Please accept this coffee to help you make it through concert.
(Mordecai and Rigby accept the cups, which have tea bag strings hanging over the side)
Mordecai and Rigby: Thanks!
(The two take a slurp and begin looking sleepy)
Mordecai: Hey, what the—this isn't coffee!
(Interpreter and Giant Coffee Bean laugh)
Interpreter: No, it's camomile tea. The sleepiest of all teas!
Mordecai: Rigby, get the—oh...
(Rigby is already asleep as Mordecai falls to the floor)
Mordecai: ... tickets.
(The screen goes black, and lights up to see Mordecai awakened by a crashing noise outside. From the bedroom window he sees the Giant Coffee Bean ready to drive away with the Interpreter on the golf cart, complete with Mordecai and Rigby's Fist Pump clothes)
Mordecai: Hey!
(Giant Coffee Bean looks up before jumping in the cart and driving off)
Mordecai: Rigby, come on, they got the tickets! Come on, let's go, let's go!
Rigby: (frustrated and tired) Fist Pump!
(The two run outside to see the Giant Coffee Bean and Interpreter heading down the driveway on the cart)
Rigby: Now what are we supposed to do?
Mordecai: Come on. I have an idea.
(The scene cuts to outside Skips' house. Benson is walking to the gas pump and whistling contentedly. Mordecai and Rigby bust through the garage door on the lawnmower, knocking Benson over as gumballs spill out of his front)
Benson: You morons get back here and help me pick up my gumballs!
(A chase scene ensues)
Giant Coffee Bean: (threateningly) Coffee. (Subtitles display - 'Take Care Of Them')
(Mordecai and Rigby pull up beside the cart)
Mordecai: Give us the tickets!
(The Interpreter produces a chainsaw and pulls the power on. Mordecai and Rigby scream and duck as the Interpreter lunges at them, cutting some of the lawnmower off. As they continue the chase down the city streets, the chainsaw is knocked loose and Mordecai and Rigby are able to knock the roof from the cart, but eventually both vehicles are abandoned as they reach Slammers, the cart crashing into the box office. The Interpreter and Giant Coffee Bean pick themselves up and race for the VIP entrance, but are intercepted by Mordecai and Rigby)
Interpreter: (nervously) Eh, Mordecai and Rigby. Fancy seeing you here.
Mordecai: A chainsaw, are you serious?! I mean, what's up with the chainsaw?
Giant Coffee Bean: (angrily) Coffee! Coffee coffee!
Interpreter: Why didn't you buy us tickets?
Mordecai: What are you talking about? We never said we'd buy you tickets!
Interpreter: But we had a contract.
Rigby: Shut it!
(Rigby, leaning in, snatches the tickets from the Interpreter)
Mordecai: You know, at first I thought you were cool, but now I know that you're both total losers.
Rigby: Everybody hates you.
Mordecai: Oh, and I just realised something.
Interpreter: What?!
Mordecai: Your coffee sucks.
Mordecai and Rigby: Ohhhhhhh!!!
(Thw two dance through the VIP door unimpeded as the Giant Coffee Bean and Interpreter are turned away by the bouncer. Mordecai and Rigby are then shown walking down the stairs in the auditorium)
Llama Guy: 'Sup, Mordecai?
Mordecai: Hey dude.
(Rigby sees the diamond-encrusted seats at the front and center of the room)
Rigby: Dude, there they are!
(Mordecai and Rigby run and jump onto their seats)
Rigby: We did it! Fist Pump! Fist Pump!
Mordecai: I wonder where Margaret's sittin'?
(Mordecai kneels up on his seat and turns around, only to receive a sweaty Fist Pump t-shirt to the face)
Mordecai: Aw, sick, it's all sweaty!
Muscle Man: Wooooo! I just threw my shirt!
(Several rows back, Muscle Man is shown lifting a weight while balancing on two seats)
Muscle Man: Bring out Fist Pump! Let's do it!
(The scene pans to Margaret a few rows in front)
Margaret: Hey, Mordecai!
Mordecai: Hey, Margaret! Fist Pump!
Margaret: Mordecai, you have to meet my boyfriend, Slasher!
(Mordecai's face collapses and he stops fist pumping)
Margaret: Hey, Slasher, that's my friend Mordecai.
Slasher: You should tell your friend he should stop pumpin' it in the wind and start pumpin' it at the gym.
(Margaret pulls her arm away from Slasher)
Margaret: (angrily) Don't be such a jerk.
Slasher: (quietly, to Mordecai) You're dead!
Mordecai: (laughs nervously and sinks into his seat) Oh, this sucks.
Rigby: (slurring) Aw, don't worry about her, you'll get another chance.
(Rigby and Mordecai look amazed as the crowd cheers. A truck with a flaming skull on the front appears at the side of the stage, the trucker blowing its horn)
Rigby: Hahaha, woo!
(Rigby turns to Mordecai only to see him snoring in his seat)
Rigby: Dude, wake up! They're about to come out!
(Rigby's eyes narrow)
Rigby: Wait... must... stay awake... must... see best band of all... time! Hngh! (resigned) Aw, crap.
(Rigby falls asleep immediately and snores)
Fist Pump singer: 'Ello! We are Fist Pump! One, two, three, four!
(Fist Pump begin playing, the screen cuts to black)

(Mordecai turns on the television, Rigby inserts the game cartridge in the console and Mordecai presses the power button on the console.)

Announcer on game: Da-da-da-da-da! Dig Champs!

Rigby: Dude, these are probably the best graphics I've ever seen in my life!

Mordecai: Dude, it looks just like the cover!

(Mordecai and Rigby chuckle at the cover of the game and the game itself, with the cover obviously looking better and different then the actual game.)

M&R: Huh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh!

Mordecai: Oh man. Dude, let's play it.

Rigby: Woah, woah, woah! You can't play game like this right out of the box. We should stretch it out first. We don't want to pull our 'hammies,' know what I'm sayin'? Hey, whatta ya doin'?!

Mordecai: Starting. Hurry up, and, pick your character! He-he-he!

Rigby: Aw, what?! I wanted to be player one!

Mordecai: Dude, I'm player one. You're player two.

Rigby: I don't wanna be player two! He digs with a sucky pickaxe! I want the one with the shovel!

Mordecai: Dude, they're exactly the same!

Rigby: Then why don't you be player two?!

Mordecai: Pffft. I'm not using that sucky pickaxe!

Rigby: (gasps) See?!

Mordecai: Dude, calm down! Let's play Punchies to see who gets to be player one.

Rigby: Fine!

(Rigby tries to punch Mordecai. He fails. Mordecai then punches Rigby and wins.)

Rigby: Ahh!

Mordecai: Looks like I'm player one.

Rigby: No! It's not fair! You always get your way! (Mockingly): Let's play Punchies, let's play Punchies. I'm sick of it! Of course I'm not gonna beat you at punchies!

Mordecai: Dude, you don't beat anybody at punchies.

Rigby: Yes I do!

Mordecai: No you don't.

(A series of flashbacks is shown. Rigby and Muscle Man are playing punchies. Muscle Man wins. Pops with his eyes closed punches Rigby to the wall.)

Rigby: Ahh!

(In the last flashback, seemingly drunk Mordecai and Pops see also seemingly drunk Skips punch Rigby. Rigby is being taken off by a helicopter presumbly to a hospital.)

Mordecai: We-oo! We-oo! We-oo! Quick, doctor, both of these butt cheeks are unrecognizable. If we want anyone to be able to recognize this as a butt in the future, then we're gonna have to do a complete butt transplant, stat!

Rigby: Stop talking!!!! There was only damage to the one cheek and you know it!

Mordecai: Ha-ha-ha! That's right! We used to call you the One- Cheek Wonder! Dude, I'm bringin' it back.

Rigby: You better not!

Muscle Man: Is that One- Cheek wonder? I hope he's not trying to play Punchies with cheeks like that!

M&MM: Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!

(Close up of Rigby's butt cheeks. Covers them with his tail.)
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Rigby: Stop! Don't look at them! I'll win at punchies, you'll see!

(Rigby runs to his and Mordecai's room.)

Rigby: Wahhh!!! (Jumps on Mordecai's bed.) Ugh! Ugh! Dumb Mordecai! I hate you!

Mordecai (downstairs): You better not be messin' up my side of the room!

Rigby: Ahhhhhhhhh! (grabs book) You're ruining my life!!! (throws book at the door, it bounces of and hits him in the face) Oww!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH...!!!!!!!!!!!!

(A frustrated Mordecai puts on headphones and plays the video game.)

Rigby: Ughh! Stupid bo-ok?

(An interested Rigby looks at the phone book, which says 'Death Kwon Do.')

Rigby: Death Kwon Do? 'Learn kicks, chops and punches in moments. Unlock your full potential today'? Y-e-es!.

(Cut to the 'Death Kwon Do' building.)

Sensei: It's a touching story. Really, it is. But I don't know if you're ready for Death Kwon Do.

Rigby: Why not?!

Sensei: Death Kwon Do is all about self-defense. But, from the sound of it, you just want to hit harder.

Rigby: Uhhhh... no? Can you just teach me something?

Sensei: Hmm. Determination. I like that. Okay, I'll teach you some beginner defensive moves. All you gotta do is pick from the sacred text of Death Kwon Do.

(Sensei holds up a book titled 'Death Kwon Do.')

Sensei: Let's see, we can start you off with 'Bicep Flex of Death.' Or there's the 'Leg Lifts of Death.' That's a good beginner's move. Or the 'Pelvic Thrust of Death.' That's one of my personal favorites.

(Rigby is searching for moves in the book.)

Rigby: That one. That's the one I want. 'The Death Punch.'

Sensei: That I'm afraid is not for beginners.

Rigby: What, why?!

Sensei: Because you only want to use it to beat up your friends. You're not pure of heart!

Rigby: What?! Don't call me 'not pure of heart'! What about you with your crappy mullet?! You're the one who's not pure of heart!

Sensei: That's it! I'm turning my back on you and counting to three! Of death. And when I turn back around you're toast! One of death. Two of death.

(A rip is heard. Rigby has ripped out 'The Death Punch of Death.')

Sensei: Nnnnnnnoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!

Death Kwon Do Student: Uhh... Sensei, uhh., I think somebody just Death Kwon Clogged the toilet.

Sensei: Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!

('You're the Best Around' sung by Joe Esposito is heard during the montage. Rigby is trying to learn how to perform the 'The Death Punch.' Rigby fails, but learns how The Death Punch is used to have a mullet. And learns you also have to wear cut jeans to perform it. He successfully performs The Death Punch by braking his and Mordecai's burrow. You're the Best Around fades away.)

Rigby: Woah! Time to take this baby for a test drive.

(Rigby goes outside.)

Rigby: Huh-waaaaayyyyy! Hah! (targets Muscle Man and Hi Five Ghost.)

Rigby: Heyy-yah! Heyy-yah! Heyyyyyyyyyy-yah! Hah! ('punches' Muscle Man and Hi Five Ghost. Muscle Man hits the wall)

Muscle Man: Oh no, bro!

(Rigby then targets Pops.)

Rigby: Heyy-yah! (punches Pops up to the sun)

(Rigby then targets Skips.)

Rigby: Heyyyy-yah! (punches Skips all the way a park light, leaving a rut.)

Rigby: Hah! Mmmeeeh!

(Rigby explodes the Snack Bar. Then the park fountain. Then a carnival tent. And finally, a rock.)

Rigby: Uhhhhh-aughhhhh! You're next, Mordecai!!

(Cut to the door of the bathroom. Mordecai comes out. A flush sound is heard.)

Mordecai: Do-do. Do-do. Do-do, do-do, do-do. All right, Rigby, cry baby time's over. Come on, let's go get some food. I'm buying.

(Mordecai notices Rigby's destruction of their room.)

Mordecai: Aw, what?! Rigby! Aughhhhh! He's gonna pay for this. (Picks up the phone book.) Death Kwon Do?

Rigby: Where are you, Mordecai? I wanna play you punchies!

(Mordecai looks through the shades of his and Rigby's window.)

Rigby: Hey, mister, have you seen Mordecai?

Man 1: Uhhhh., no. W-who's.(Rigby punches the Man.) Ughhhhhh!

Rigby: Have you seen 'im?

Man 2: Seen w-ughhhhh! (Rigby punches the second man.)

Rigby: How 'bout you?

(Punches the third man up on the window.)

Man 3: Ughhhh! Uhhhhhh...

Mordecai: Oh, so you think you're gonna beat me at punchies? Well, I've got news for you. I know your little secret.

(Cut to the park. The park is destroyed beyond repair.)

Dog 1: Rowr, rowr, rowr, rowr!

Dog 2: Uhmmm.

Rigby: Now massage this foot!

Skips: But I already did that one.

Rigby: Then rub it again! Unless you want to get punched again! And Pops, what's with the easy-breezy? Speed it up! My pepperonis are roasting down here!

Pops: Uhh-hmm!

Rigby: Muscle Man, you see Mordecai yet?

Muscle Man: Uhhh, I can't see anything. (he lowers the binoculars, revealing two black eyes)

Mordecai: I'm right here, Rigby!

Rigby: Gimme those!

(Notices Mordecai's attire.)

Rigby: Looks like you've learned the ways of Death Kwon Do.

Mordecai: Looks like you know how to say things people are already aware of.

Rigby: Whatever! You can't handle The Death Punch!

Mordecai: That sounds like a challenge.

Rigby: That's because maybe it IS a challenge!

Mordecai: Well then what're you doing up there?

Rigby: Muscle Man, Hi Fives, carry me down.

(Muscle Man and Hi Five Ghost carry Rigby down to Mordecai.)

Rigby: Don't drop me! Be careful! Woah, woah! Leaning, leaning! Here, here! Set me here. What move did you learn?

Mordecai: Why don't you come over here and find out.

Rigby: Hmm! Heyyyyyyyaaaaaahuhuhuh-hah!

(Rigby punches Mordecai.)

Rigby: What?!

(Mordecai is not injured.)

Rigby: How come you're not dead yet?

Mordecai: Probably because I learned 'The Death Block.' It worked pretty good for a first try, either that or your Death Punch totally blows!

Rigby: I'll kill you!!!! Yayhyhyhyhy!

Mordecai: Hmm-hmm! You're never gonna beat me at punchies!

Rigby: Nyyayayayahah!

(Rigby repeateadly punches Mordecai, albeit failing, as the hole surrounding the two gets wider and deeper and Skips, Pops, Muscle Man and Hi Five Ghost watch the impact.)

Rigby: (panting)

Mordecai: Are you finished yet?

Rigby: Not until I smash you!!!!! Hyhaaw! (he punches Mordecai again) (panting, but suddenly, a crack rips up the wall causing rock and soil to fly out, the lava starts to ooze out of the crack)

Mordecai: Woah.

Rigby: What? Are you afraid of a little lava? Hyayaaha! (because of the punches, more cracks and lava occur)

Mordecai: Dude, this is serious! We've gotta get out of here!

Rigby: Never! Not until I beat you at punchies! Hyah! Hyah! Hyah! (more lava spews)

Mordecai: Dude, stop! We're gonna die!

Rigby: I don't care!!! I'm sick of you always winning!!!!

(Mordecai has a realization about Rigby's statement. In the flashbacks, he first punches Rigby on arm. And again. And again. Then on his side. Then on his back. And finally, in his crotch.)

Rigby: I'm not quitting 'till I win!!!

(Rigby continually punches Mordecai.)

Rigby: Heh-huh. Heh-huh. Heh-huh.

Mordecai: (faking) Aw! You got me, you got me! Aw, you got me! You win! We have to stop now 'cause I lost.

Rigby: Hah! I told ya I was gonna win! In yo face! Yay-hay-hay! I finally get to be player one!

Mordecai: What?! That's what this is about?! You just wanted to be player one?!

Rigby: Huh! That's all I ever wanted!

Mordecai: Dude, you can totally be player one.

Rigby: (sobs)

Mordecai: Dude, quit crying. I said you could be player one.

Rigby: I know, but what good is being player one now? We're just gonna die in this lava!!!

Mordecai: Don't worry, dude. I can get us away from the lava.

Rigby: Really? How?

Mordecai: You think I'm dumb enough to steal only one Death Kwon Do move?

Rigby: Wha-?

Mordecai: Now, how do you wanna get outta here? 'The Death Jump' or 'The Death Dump'?

Rigby: Aw, sick!!! Better go with the Death Jump.

Mordecai: Hold on tight.

(Mordecai flies up to the sky holding Rigby.)

Pops: Look!

Sensei: Why yes sir, I have the Death Jump and the Death Dump right he-- (opens the notebook... only to find both the Death Jump and Death Dump pages ripped out, courtesy of Mordecai) Nnnnoooooooooooo!

Announcer on game: Da-da-da-da-da! Dig Champs!

Rigby: Aw, yes! It's finally happening!

Mordecai: Yep. For once being a huge baby actually worked out for you!

Rigby: Stop talking!!!!!!!!

Mordecai: Hah-ha-hah! Dude, just hurry up and play. You're just gonna die right at the beginning anyway.

Rigby: Mah-mah-mah-mah-mah-mah! Unn! I'll show you!

(Rigby plays the game. He is killed by a snail.)

Rigby: Aw, what?! Snails are bad?! I thought snails were good!

Mordecai: No, dude, snails are bad.

Rigby: Aw, man! This sucks!... I wanna be player two.

(The End.)

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