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Regular Show

House Rules

Announcer:Double death combo!
Mordecai and Rigby:WHOAAAAA! Double death combo!
Benson:Hey guys, listen. When you've got a minute, I need you to take a look at these.
Mordecai:Sure, Benson. Oh, the house rules. Thanks, but we already have these.
Benson:Uh, no you don't, cause I've added a few new ones in there, and I'm gonna need you to sign off on them, okay? Rigby:Aw, man, more rules? He's gotta be joking!
Mordecai: Alright, let's see. Rule #114: No feet on the table. Rule #115: No food on the table. Rigby: Fine!
Mordecai: Rule #116: No food on the floor.
Rigby: WHAT?! That's going WAY too far! Come on, man, help me flip the table!
Mordecai: No, dude, just chill out. There's only one more new rule left.
Rigby: What is it?
Mordecai: No video games?!
Rigby: Are you nuts?!
Benson: Rule #47: No yelling!
Rigby: You can't take video games away from us, man. What're we supposed to do?
Benson: Work. You're supposed to work.
Mordecai: You know what? We're sick of all your rules! No prank calls, no rock-paper-scissors, no punchies, no unicorns? What does that even mean?
Rigby: These rules are all totally random, Benson, and they're all aimed at us!
Benson: That's not true. #68: No harpsichord playing after 10 PM.
Rigby: I actually kind of like that one.
Mordecai: Yeah, but that's the only good one in there. The rest of them are terrible!
Benson: Look, I'm doing you a favor. Life without rules is chaos.
Mordecai: Fine. But we're only signing off on the rules we like.
Rigby: Yeah, like the harpsichord one!
Benson: It doesn't work that way! If you can't agree to live by all the house rules, then you can't live in this house!
Mordecai: Well then, we won't live in this house.
Rigby: Yeah, cause your rules are whack!
Mordecai: We'll show you. We're not gonna live with any rules at all.
Announcer: Double death combo!
Mordecai and Rigby: WHOAAAAA!
Mordecai: Heheh. Dude, we should have moved out a long time ago. I feel like I just got out of prison.
Rigby: That's 'cause Benson built a rule prison around us. But we busted out, and now we can do whatever we want!
Mordecai and Rigby: Rules are for fools! Rules are for fools! Save your stupid rulin' for fools that need a schoolin'!
Mordecai: Muscle Man, what are you doing?!
Muscle Man: My job, bro. Read it and weep, ladies. Mordecai and Rigby: Aw, what? Come on!
Muscle Man: While I sympathyze with your quest to live free of the man's rules, this guy's still gotta put food on the table.
Mordecai: Fine! But you didn't have to ruin our campsite!
Muscle Man: Yes I did.
Mordecai: Yes! She's still here. Hey!
Margaret: Hi guys!
Mordecai and Rigby: Hey, Margaret.
Margaret: Hey, is it true? Did you really move out of the house?
Rigby: Yeah, we did! 'cause Benson got all rulesy!
Mordecai: We had no choice. It was either leave or live with some other dude with rules.
Margaret: Wow, Mordecai! I didn't know you were such a rebel.
Mordecai: Yep. You know me. Total rebel. Margaret: Well, good night. Mordecai: Actually, we don't have anywhere to sleep, so we were hoping you would let us camp out here tonight.
Margaret: I wish I could, but, my manager has a rule about that kind of thing. Sorry, guys.
Mordecai: It's cool. I'm sure we can find some place to crash that isn't so big on rules. Later!
Mordecai: Dude, this is getting intense.
Rigby: No! More! RUUUUULES! No Rules Man: Did somebody say... ...rules?
Rigby: Oh, great. Who are you, the alley rules guy?
No Rules Man: Who am I? I'm whoever I want to be. Wanna know why? 'cause I don't believe in rules that tell me otherwise.
Mordecai: Whoa.
Rigby: That's pretty cool.
No Rules Man: You better believe it's pretty cool. So what's your guys' story? You all free to do whatever you want?
Mordecai: We wish.
Rigby: Yeah, we have this lame boss Benson that tells us to-
No Rules Man: Boss? What's that?
Mordecai: It's a-
No Rules Man: Yeah, I know what a boss is. I was just making a point. Bosses are nothing but fools with rules.
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Rigby: Oh yeah, rules for fools.
No Rules Man: That's right! It makes so much sense in rhymes.
Rigby: Whoa, that's crazy!
No Rules Man: You guys seem pretty cool, so I'll let you in on a little secret. I know of a place where rules don't exist.
Rigby: No way! Are you serious?
No Rules Man: Shhhhhhhhhhhh. Mordecai: A box of trash? Are you joking?
No Rules Man: Do I look like I'm joking? Mordecai: Uh, I don't know about this, dude.
Rigby: Well, I practically sleep in a pile of garbage at home anyways, so this isn't really that different for me.
Mordecai: Sweet! Rigby and No Rules Man: WHOAAAAA! Double death combo!
Mordecai: Aw, you guys have Karate Choppers down here? No Rules Man: Go ahead. Put your feet up.
Mordecai: Aw, yeah-yuh! Can I get next game?
No Rules Man: No need, bro. Mordecai and Rigby: Three-player Karate Choppers! Oh, yeah-yuh!
No Rules Man: Rockin'. Would you mind getting that?
Mordecai: Hello?
Prank Caller: Loser says what!
Mordecai: Who is this?
Prank Caller: Loser says what!
Mordecai: I know what you're trying to do. I'm not going to say 'what.'
Prank Caller: You're a loser! You loserhead! I hate you!
Mordecai: Dude, I think someone just prank called us.
No Rules Man: Ah, yeah. It was probably Kevin. Rigby: Oh man, you guys can make prank calls down here?
No Rules Man: You still don't get it, don't you? Down here, you can do... ...whatever you want.
Mordecai and Rigby: Whoaaaaaaaahhhhhh. Mordecai: Whoa-oa!
No Rules Man: Yeah man, no rules of gravity.
Rigby: Dude, in Benson's face! Living without rules is awesome!
Mordecai: Yeah it is!
Mordecai and Rigby: No rules! No rules! No rules! No rules! No Rules Man: That's right, no rules at all. Hey, look over there! Mordecai: What the heck, man?
Rigby: Dude! He just took your wallet! Mordecai: Dude, give it back!
No Rules Man: Why? There's no rule that says I can't take other people's stuff.
Old Mordecai: He's right, dudes. Oh, man! I used to be so cool-looking! Wow, you're totally going to miss that. You know what else you're going to miss? That guy. Enjoy him while you got him, you know what I'm saying?
Rigby: What does that mean?
Old Mordecai: Oh, uh, nothing, dude.
Mordecai: Dude! How is this even happening?
No Rules Man: Because there's no rule that says it can't! From your future to your past, anyone can join the party.
Mordecai: Unicorns?!
Rigby: They're supposed to be dead!
Unicorn 1: Check it, bros! It's those two jerkbags that blew us up!
Mordecai: You gotta listen to us, man! These guys are seriously bad news! You gotta get rid of them!
No Rules Man: Did you just tell me what to do?! You just told me what to do! Hey, they just told me what to do!
Unicorn 1: They're telling WHO what do to?!
Unicorn 2: Oh, no way, bro! Get 'em!
Rigby: Hey, you gotta get us outta here, man!
No Rules Man: This guy ain't gotta do jack, amigo! I can't believe how lame you guys turned out! I thought you were cool! Rigby: I hate to admit this, but I miss Benson and his stupid rules!
Mordecai: Wait! Yo! No Rules Guy! You do have at least one rule down here. You have a rule against rules.
No Rules Man: There's no rule against rules.
Mordecai: That's all I needed to hear. Unicorns: Bros! Bros! Bros! Bros! Bros! Bros! Bros! Bros! Mordecai: Rule #37: No unicorns! Rule #72: No rock-paper-scissors! No punchies! Rigby: And no prank calls! No Rules Man: Stop! Just stop it! You guys have no idea what-
Rigby: AAAAAGGGHHH! Mordecai: Show us the way out of here!
No Rules Man: There's no rule that says I have to!
Mordecai: There's also no rule that says I can't point this laser pointer in your only good eye! No Rules Man: Okay, okay! I'll take you out!
Mordecai: There. We signed off on all your rules, Benson.
Benson: Well, well, well. Wasn't so easy living without rules, was it? Wait a minute. One of these rules is missing.
Rigby: Oh, no. Which one?
Benson: I don't know, there's over a hundred of these things!
Mordecai: Well, then, how do you know it's missing?
Benson: Because somebody RIPPED IT OUT!
Mordecai: That's crazy. I wonder which one it is.
No Rules Man: Hmph. Hmph. I didn't need those guys, I can play video games all by myself. NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!