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The Baseball Project



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The Baseball Project

Don't Call Them Twinkies

Lyricist:Craig Finn, Steven Lawrence Wynn

In 1965, I wasn't quite alive yet
But I'm told they gave the MVP to Zoilo Versalles
Oliva hit the singles and Harmon hit the homers
Mudcat Grant won 20 games and they didn't play in a dome yet

The Dodgers came to Bloomington to play for the World Series
The Twins took the first two, you can even ask Vin Scully
But Sandy Koufax proved to be a bit too much to crack
And the Twins went down in seven but they vowed that they'd be back

From Nicollet to Hennepin, from St. Paul to St. Cloud
The Minnesota Twins are making Minnesotans proud
And we don't buy our titles so there are summers where we stink
But these are grown men, these are heroes
Please don't call them Twinkies

In the fall of 87, I was pretty much in heaven
I got my license and a girlfriend and the Twins had won the pennant
I prayed more in the Dome than I ever did at church
Kirby Puckett had the smile, Kent Hrbek had the smirk

First we tamed the Tigers, then we were dealt the Cards
And they came to the Twin Cities to try to make sense of our park
It was loud and it was close and it went to seven games
But the Twins took home the title and that sweet music played

From Edina to Duluth, from the south side to downtown
The Minnesota Twins are making Minnesotans proud
So, hey, let's make some noise, come on, wave those Homer Hankies
These are grown men, well, these are heroes
Please don't call them Twinkies

In 1991, the Twins were once again on top
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We faced Atlanta in the Series and they thought that they were hot
I've never seen nothing so lame as that Fondahawk chop
But we were up against the ropes when Kirby called his shot

And as he ran around the bases, smiling, pumping fists
We all knew that he had won it, though it was only just game six
And the next night, Jack Morris came and made his hometown proud
You should watch it in slow motion, Ron Gant was clearly out

From Mankato up to Brainerd, from Burnsville to Bemidji
Now we're playing outdoor baseball and that's the way it should be
Raise a toast to Kirby Puckett, raise another to Tom Kelly
These are Minnesota Twins, so let's not call them Twinkies

We've got Justin, we've got Joe, that's enough reason to party
We don't buy our titles and we've still won two World Series
Grab yourself a 3.2 beer, raise a toast to Gardy
These are the Minnesota Twins, so please don't call them Twinkies
Please don't call them Twinkies, please don't call them Twinkies

From Mankato up to Brainerd, from Burnsville to Bemidji
Now we're playing outdoor baseball and that's the way it should be
(Please don't call them Twinkies)
Raise a toast to Kirby Puckett, raise another to Tom Kelly
These are Minnesota Twins
(Please don't call them Twinkies)

We've got Justin, we've got Joe, that's enough reason to party
We don't buy our titles and we've still won two World Series
(Please don't call them Twinkies)
Grab yourself a 3.2 beer and raise a toast to Gardy
These are Minnesota Twins
(Please don't call them Twinkies)